Shit people say to Mariel Loveland of Candy Hearts

Mariel Loveland of Candy Hearts wrote about what she hates experiencing in the music industry. Along similar lines to the last post on our blog, she deals with frustrating phrases, tones and treatments she has had to put up with. 

Being told that she shouldn’t be so upset at these things is the first one she mentions. Sick of being told how she should about things by men, Loveland says:

“Don’t tell me I should be excited that I can’t wander the beautiful cities we visit on tour alone at night, that I’m consistently belittled by promoters and security or that you have any idea what it’s like to read about the way your butt looks in jeans in a music review.”

Being told you’re “too much of a girl” to handle things, constantly being asked if you’re “just the merch girl”, or being accused of being a gimmick your band uses to sell records are all up there as well on Loveland’s list of crappy gender-related jibes.

The “did you see what she was wearing” line rates a mention as an irrelevant preoccupation people have with assessment of female musicians. 

“I should be able to wear a pair of shorts without later reading comments about the way my butt looked (good or not), or how I’m sexualizing myself to sell records. I shouldn’t have to feel disgusting and violated because I have a female body and it is in front of you in clothes that don’t always fit right.”

To sum up, Loveland acknowledges the sexism is not the biggest part of her musical experience, but equally, that it’s worth mentioning. 

“Someone’s weight or ill-fitting gown has nothing to do with her worth, and women are put in the unfortunate position of needing to be 1,000 things at once. We must be sexy but not too sexy, nice but not too nice, feminine in this mysterious, ever-changing way and ostensibly agreeable. When we are not, we are divas and probably menstruating, or worse—our love for makeup, frilly dresses and radio pop has lead people to believe we are ditsy, vapid individuals.”

What are your thoughts?


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